The Hello Kitty Ninjas
Ok, this
is more of a "No shit there we were" story than a combat story; but it's
amusing, so here goes.
Years ago, before my Sifu ,Marie, was really my Sifu, and when we were just
hanging out, we went out with another friend to run some errands. The trouble
started when I was left outside to watch the car unintended. Nothing Earth
shattering happened, but I did find these cute little poofy Hello Kitty magnets
on the sidewalk next to the car. I picked them up and started examining them,
when Marie and friend returned to the car.
We get back on the road and into rush hour midtown Manhattan traffic. Meanwhile,
Marie discovers that these magnets are perfectly weighted and make excellent
non-lethal "throwing stars". She flings one at a cab that had cut us off, and it
lands on the side with a slight "fwap"; marking the offensive cab as a victim of
what we now dub ourselves as: The Hello Kitty Ninjas.
Being that we only had two of these magnets, we had to make the second one
count. So Marie decides to save it for the most heinous driver on the road. That
driver turns out to be an Airborne Express driver, who was being particularly
aggressive in his driving technique. She flings the Hello Kitty Magnet Star at
the side of the truck, just as he the driver hits the breaks. The sticker goes
flying through the air, landing NOT on the side of the truck, but inside the
driver compartment, ricocheting off of the dashboard and into the driver's left
eye. The driver yells and casts a glance our way, cursing and threatening to
destroy us. At this point, Marie and our friend yell at the top of their
lungs... "STEP ON IT!"
I had no problem with this sentiment. I was all for hightailing it out of there.
However, we were in midtown traffic and we were not moving any place quickly. I
weaved through traffic best as I could, but the Airborne Express guy was in
tight pursuit. Finally, I am advised to turn down a side street to escape. But
this was a case of "out of the frying pan into the fire," because traffic on
that street was stopped dead for a red light, and Airborne Express guy was on my
ass.
The guy explodes out of his truck armed with a fire extinguisher and goes for
Marie. I am instructed to call the cops at the pay phone. (Yes, this was
before cell phones were cheap and everyone had them. I’m that old.) She was
going to take the attack and not fight back, because this guy would not have
taken a beating too well.
Anyway, after swinging the fire extinguisher of doom into my Marie's arm a few
times, the Airborne Express assailant fled the scene, having heard the police
were on the way. Nobody was seriously hurt, but we were never able to locate
more of those well balanced Hello Kitty magnets. Too bad...
